I was recently walking home from the park with my 7-year-old son, Carter, and his friend, Dhaero.  We came upon a large stone structure that they wanted to climb.  As it was about 6-feet tall, they requested my help for a boost to get to the top.  I really didn't want them up there, so I stood back and said, "If you all can do it, fine. But I'm not going to help you."  At this point, I took out my camera to capture the 7-year-old shenanigans that were sure to ensue.  However, when I got home and reviewed the photos, I think I captured a bit more.  Here's what happened.

It was clear that the two boys would need to work together to climb the structure, as neither was tall enough to do it alone.  Carter quickly gave Dhaero a boost and he went right up.  Next, Dhaero attempted to pull Carter up as Carter scaled the side, but that didn't work.  Instead of giving up, they decided to give it another try in reverse. So Dhaero came down and served as a boost for Carter.  Now, Carter worked to get Dhaero back up. It still took a good bit of effort, but they were able to do it!

Failure wasn’t a barrier, it was just another hurdle to overcome.

Looking back at this little victory, I saw a lot of elements of a Free School education.  First of all, it was never a competition to see who could get to the top.  If that were the case, Dhaero would have no incentive to help Carter up, and he certainly wouldn't relinquish his spot atop the structure to come down and help Carter up without a guarantee that he would return. It was clear that their goal from the start was to get both boys on the structure.

Second, the fact that they didn't have adult help to get up didn't deter them. They were also unfazed by the fact that their first attempt failed. Failure wasn’t a barrier, it was just another hurdle to overcome. They exhibited effective problem-solving skills throughout the process to achieve a goal that they set for themselves. The victory was theirs alone, and it was sweeter for it.

You might argue that the reason I find these things in a simple kids' activity is because I am looking for them.  But I think that if we all stand back and allow our children to try, fail, and try again, they will all amaze us.  I know Carter is capable, intelligent, creative, innovative, and determined. And if I step in to help him with every little hurdle, those characteristics don't have a chance to shine through.  I would encourage us all to step back and let our kids work it out, even if they struggle.  The results may surprise you.  And I think your child will be pretty proud of his/her accomplishment as well.  

Just look at those celebratory moves.